Holidays Aren’t for Celebrating

Here is accounting of the official state holidays in the Czech Republic for 2010 only about three of these warrant some celebration or notice. (and only if, the conditions are right, i.e good weather)

1 Jan: New Year's Day
5 Apr: Easter Monday, i.e the woman beating holiday (we’ll get to that later)
1 May: May Day.
8 May Liberation Day.
5 Jul: Day of the Apostles St. Cyril and St Methodius.
6 Jul: Anniversary of the Martyrdom of Jan Hus.
28 Sep: Czech Statehood Day.
28 Oct: Independence Day.
17 Nov: Freedom and Democracy Day.
24-26 Dec: Christmas

One not so special Wednesday back in early November I was giving an English lesson to one of my colleagues at work. Towards the of the lesson as the conversation was waning, I asked my student if he had any special plans for commemorating Democracy day, as it would be the 20th year anniversary of the fall of communism in, what was then; Czechoslovakia. I’m not sure what I expected him to say, but his reply lingered in my mind for days. “Holiday’s aren’t for celebrating in the Czech Republic”. He went on to explain that Czechs despise parades and holiday pomp which they perceive to be reminiscent of the Soviet days. At which time there were military parades regulary and attendance to these events were somewhat obligatory. So what do Czechs celebrate? Well the answer is basically Christmas, New Years and maybe Lent/Easter if you happen to be religious, but otherwise; there is no reason to celebrate-ever, at least in the manner of Anglo-American traditions. It seems that holidays are generally for staying home and resting, but sometimes for visiting relatives that live out-of-town, going to Ikea, or possibly, but rarely doing some sort of outdoor activity if one is very progressive or rich, usually skiing, nordic walking or cycling.

Christmas in the Czech Republic
As for me, it was the strangest thing; I got bitten by the Christmas bug rather early, and let it be known that I am not a fan of Christmas generally. Halloween was kind of a letdown for me, so once it passed and I remembered that having a meaningful Thanksgiving of any proportion was virtually unthinkable (as I hadn’t meet any local Americans yet) I decided why not just start decorating for Christmas. So I got a tree, a fake tree that is, as it was barely even November and there seemed to be no real trees available for sale yet. Previous to the actual 3-days of Christmas, I had been in Dresden for the Christmas markets, that was such a Christmasy affair, I figured I would have had my fill of Christmas, but no, the week after I got back, I had my company Christmas party (which I was sick for, and left really early) and then co-hosted my own Christmas party with my friend Helen in my tiny flat (you’re welcome neighbors) and finally the week before Christmas I was in Oslo celebrating “Jul” with my Norsk comrades, but upon my return I was still ready for more! Sejal, a friend from Norway, came back with me, and we had the most casual Christmas ever! We opened some Champagne and a bag of cookies, and watched DVDs in bed all day, then when it was time for dinner we tossed up a salad and heated up some frozen pizza, which we ate at the table, just to be a little fancy. After dinner, we headed out to the square to listen to carolers and drink hot wine from our newly made friend’s not even remotely concealed flasks, followed by a tour of the castle (Note: sending drunk people unattended into a castle containing fine glassware and rare medieval works of art was perhaps not a well thought out, but no colameties occured in our presence). So that was Christmas Eve in Pardubice. I actually don’t remember what Sejal and I did Christmas morning, it’s possible that we didn’t leave the house, and watched “the Office” all day.

Boxing Day We were up early and headed west, first to the city of Plzen, the home of Pilsner Urquell. When we arrived we were unsure that we had actually arrived, it seemed to be the only train station on the westward route that had no visible sign announcing itself. We cautiously disembarked and asked a uniformed conductor if we were indeed in Plzen, his replied affirmatively with a snicker, as if we were the dumbest girls he’s ever come across, and pittied the people of Plzen that would have to deal with us all day. First stop was Tesco, (to use the free bathroom) which appeared to be the sketchiest place in town. Then we headed towards what we believed to be the center, we just went in the direction of the ornate steeples (a navigation tool that works quite well in the Czech Republic). We did eventually locate the square and it was seemed pretty immense but also almost completely deserted, considering most shops were closed (I guess Plzonions don't celebrate Boxing Day, what a suprise). We wandered a bit, but we had a train to catch in two hours, so we looked at the Velky Synagogue(applily named: the big synagogue as it is the second biggest in Europe) and a lovely church in the center of the square, both were viewed at the speed at which Clark W. Griswold looks at the Grand Canyon in National Lampoons vacation http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BQJH5tZLGis. We were getting hungry and these ubiquitious Pilsner reminders everywhere in town meant it was time to find “the Pub” I had seen this place advertised on a park bench on our way into town, and so that somehow made it worth visiting for us. We were the only customers at first, it was cavernous, and was a PYOP (pour-your-own-pivo) establishment (my favorte!) As other groups of dinners and drinkers came in and were seated, we noticed a score board of sorts which tallied the number of ounces poured per table. Unfortunately, Sejal wasn’t drinking so it was up to me alone to win it for us. I couldn't do much damage in an hour and a half, but it was a cleaver idea.
We arrived at Marianske Lazne around five o’clock., naturally it was already quite dark, and covered in snow, which was a switch as it was fairly temperate and sunny in Plzen, and only an hour or so away. M.L. is located in the mountains in the west of Bohemia, so it was to be expected that we would encounter snow. We phoned our hotel to shuttle us into town, they came promptly and whizzed us up the icy hill to our five star resort! Upon check-in we were served some tart but tasty hot wine (I drank Sejals) and we booked a bunch of spa appointments. In fact they actually had to Soup-Nazi us and said we were only allowed one massage a day. Thus, we extended our stay to two nights and doubled our appointments- take that spa nazis! We were pleased with our accommodation, the view from our balcony of the ski slopes and the town below was fabulous! We decided to dine at the restaurant as it seemed like a treacherous walk to get down the icy steps and road to the center, we’d save that fun for daylight. I think we had planned to have an after dinner swim, but dinner ran long and we wound-up having baths in our 8-jet tub instead, which lulled us right to sleep afterwards.
The next morning we set the alarm, as the day was jam-packed with Spa activities, however, the breakfast was not to be rushed or missed. It was probably the best complimentary hotel breakfast ever. First of all, we had our own reserved table, none of this get-your-food-and-hope-you-can-squeeze-in next to some loud annoying family or some smelly backpackers, no, we had our own beautifully set table with our room number proudly displayed on a gold placard waiting for us each morning. The buffet contained all the usual offerings, but the chef would also prepare special requests like pancakes (which we had on the second morning). The hostess was really nice and spoke good English, she greeted us each morning formally and while we were enjoying our coffee and pre-breakfast mini treats, talked about how worthless men are, this warmed our hearts and made us take in instant likening to her. The rich clientele brought their little fluffy dogs with them, un-tethered and unattended; they just roamed free in search of crumbs under other peoples tables, at the omelet bar, wherever. After breakfast it was massage time, my massage was good, not Glen Ivy- good, cruise ship- good, or even cheap Thai-massage parlor in Los Angeles- good, but for a hotel, I guess it was satisfactory overall. But Sejal had a different experience, during her massage someone entered the room several time and engaged in what was apparently a hilarious conversation in Czech. She was lying on her stomach at the time and considered her options. 1. Hope they went away soon, and try to ignore it. 2. Ask politely the the intruders and the masseuse could chat after her massage. Or 3. Turnover and say something like “hey you assholes, get the fuck outta here, I’m NOT paying to hear you bitches giggle”. I thought the last one seemed an appropriate response, but she opted for the first option, then complained to management and demanded a second massage for free. She was only able to get a discount on her second massage, and the promise it wouldn’t happen again, well and the fauder I needed to spice up my blog.
After lunch in the lobby bar, we headed out on the town, down the icy path, down the steps, past a beautiful abandoned hotel, and into the center, by this time the sun way already falling behind the hills quickly, and Sejal was again not feeling well, so I parked her at a café, and ran around snapping picture before we lost the light. After my romp around town, I needed a rest so I joined Sejal in the Kolanada (one of the main attraction of the town in the summer) and had afternoon tea. We ventured out again as evening feel, and when Sejal was better, we window shopped, and casually searched for a resturant for dinner, eventually we settled on a place called Churchills (there’s one in every touristy town in the world, I’m convinced- each is owned separately and completely unique, but always with the same hook- the name). The pub/ restaurant was nice, very cozy, but the easy-listening Muzak station was awful! Churchill himself would have been horrified by this soundtrack! After a good meal, and Richard Marx songs dancing uninvitedly in our heads, we headed up the hill to our snowy challet, we watched Billy Madison in Czech, and because I’ve seen this movie so many times, and know every line, I just translated he entire movie for Sejal in the appropriate character voices. I was kind spent after that, so off to bed I went. In morning Sejal had more treatments, while I went swimming. We tried to use the sauna but that was an unbelievable 44 euro for two hours, sure it was private, but still, can’t we all just share and save some money! In the afternoon we caught the train back to Prague where we had dinner at the Lebanese restaurant, 700kc later, we eventually made it back to Pardubice.
So, even though holidays aren’t for celebrating, I really did have one of the best Christmas’s I’ve ever had.